People I admire

  • My wife Kate because she’s funny, intelligent, supportive, and has the most beautiful heart I know. Well that, and she breaks out into song whenever something random happens in life. Among her hit singles: “I Won’t Do It,” “I Will Blow It Off,” “I Will Eat the Cheese,” and “Little Tiny Baby Cat.”
  • Our cat, Indie, who, despite not being a person in the strictest sense of the word, does make our life better, which is what the taco people over at El Milagro Restaurant in Pilsen do, so by that definition, Indie is a person and so warrants my respect. But I’m not a CatDad no matter what my friends say. That’s just slander and Soviet propaganda. 
  • My parents, because they came to this country with nothing, and have managed to build an amazing life, raise two law-abiding, tax-paying sons, both of whom have put their education to good use in jobs that pay more taxes than General Electric and Google combined. Did I mention my parents came from Mexico? Take that, Trump.
  • My brother, because he’s always looking to better himself by learning how to eat weeds, learning how to build sheds, and always looking to preach the Gospel of Gluten-Free Eating. Okay, despite that last part, I still love him and think he’s awesome. He’s also got his own blog now.
  • Anyone who sees Idiocracy and mistakenly thinks they’re watching a documentary on the National Geographic channel.
  • Jenny Lawson because she’s ludicrously funny and magnificently irreverent and unapologetically swears a lot so she makes me feel less bad about my characters unapologetically swearing a lot. Plus, Furiously Happy is one of my favorite books of all time.
  • Christopher Moore because his writing is wonderfully absurd, and, seriously, because anyone who can write a book about Christ’s childhood friend, Biff, has easily got to be one of the best people on the planet. And because he gave us Wiggly Charlie.
  • Sandra Cisneros because she, along with many, many talented Latino writers, have taught us that writing is important, and writing is inspirational, and writing as a person of color is one of the most amazing things ever.
  • Max Brooks because World War Z (the book, not the movie) was amazing, and because he stole my idea for a Zombie Survival Guide. Actually, I slightly resent him for that last part, but hey, there’s no way he’s stealing my idea for mechanized llamas.
  • Chuck Wendig for writing the funniest books about writing, Stephen King for writing the most inspirational book about writing, and these guys for writing the most no-nonsense, business-first, bust-yo-ass book about writing.
  • You for making it this far and likely making a purchase of one of my books. And even if you don’t, I still respect you because you made it this far. Unless you’re going to flame or troll me right after this. In which case I won’t respect you. Unless you have good grammar and good argumentative structure. Then I’ll totally respect you.

 

 

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